March 8

What jumped out to me today was Moses telling Joshua to be strong and courageous. "The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

I REALLY needed that today. Many times on my 11 day trip to Israel, which was the ultimate of mountain top experiences I wondered what would be waiting 'in the valley'. It's not that I am pessimistic, but it is so often a pattern that after a 'super high' that you are tested 'in the valley' so to speak. I prayed many times that I would be up to the challenge whatever it was. I gave myself two days off  before I went back to work, which I now know was not nearly enough. I was still completely exhausted and time warped.

I worked three 12 shifts in Critical Care had one day off and worked again. I have known the person I cared for a long, long time. I was not prepared for the emotional toll and devestating effect it would have on me. I have to turn the situation over the Lord, not be afraid and not be discouraged. 

These four days became not about policies and procedures and protcols and documentation and vital signs.......but about gut wrenching human emotions.

This situation is now out my control -not that it ever was in my control- but I can have no influence on the situation at all other than in prayer. It was very comforting to read "The LORD HIMSELF goes before you!!".